在汪星人统治的世界里

Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML

楼主是狗狗美容师，在给狗狗做美容之前都需要事先举起来端详一下，以便针对性的化妆，就在刚才我举起来一只好萌的小狗，“可爱的小宝贝~~”还没夸完呢，丫直接尿了，唯一值得庆幸的是它没有尿到我身上，全特么尿我脸上了。 FML

Today, I was writing a huge paper for a class as our last grade. My dog starts scratching himself. He hit the power button on the computer. Nothing was saved. FML

今天，我正在为一堂课写一篇大文稿作为我的最后论文，正当我充满成就感的时候，在我还没保存之前我的狗按了一下电源键

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

这个可以评估 5 个“卧槽”，今天走路上突然被一只大狗追，最后没辙了找了棵树爬上去，结果这只狗就特么蹲树下了，等了特么的半个多小时，高潮来了，狗的主人走过来，看看了树上的我，然后把狗带走了，你说你走就走吧？特么的看着我“哼哼~~”两声是几个意思？。 FML

Today, I went out to get some medication and left my dog in the house because it was raining. When I returned, I found the tattered remains of video game cases scattered all over my living room floor. Most of them were limited editions that I'd been borrowing from my brother. FML

千万别把哈士奇自己放在家里，有点儿不舒服就出去买药，因为下雨就没带它（狗狗），结果。。。我回家打开门的时候发现客厅遍地都是咬坏的游戏光盘，这些可都是我从我哥们儿哪儿借来的限量版啊。 FML

Today, while working as a veterinary assistant, an owner stood extremely close to me and kept accidentally petting me instead of her dog. After her dog was examined, she asked me if I'd ever had the chicken pox because she has shingles and it's contagious to those who haven't. I haven't. FML

囧了，遭遇心机婊，楼主是兽医助理，今天来一个姐妹给她的狗看病，结果就直接贴在我身上了（楼主在医生旁边帮忙），然后还不停的用手抚摸我，楼主当时身心荡漾啊。结果完了以后跟我讲“你生过水痘了的吧？我这两天正生水痘呢，刚才不小心碰到你希望没有传染到你”-- 你妹啊，特么这是陷害老子呢。 FML

原文地址： http://www.shitmylife.cn/subject/info/30