hx1997
2014-12-10 20:21:59 +08:00
我也是来挑毛病的。。。楼主不要伤心，下次用中文写吧。有些楼上已经有人指出了。
1. 连写句 (run-on sentence)
e.g. I was interested in relativity, I wanted to understand ...
2. 句式单调
e.g. I was interested... I am not... I was proud of...
3. 大小写使用不正确
e.g. I had no idea of *western* democracy
4. 代词指代不明
e.g. I was proud of being a Chinese, because of *its* culture and history
5. 残缺句 (sentence fragment)
e.g. Thanks to Google and the information technology, which opened my eyes and changed my life.
6. 用词不准确
e.g. I have to list some requirements to avoid *falling into a pit*.
7. 累赘的从句
e.g. A chair *that is functioning*, or better.
8. smell sth. 不用被动
e.g. No smoke can be smelled in the office and in the toilet.
9. toilet 是抽水马桶，最好用 restroom/bathroom
e.g. No smoke can be smelled in the office and in the toilet.
10. 左括号与前面的单词间没有空格
e.g. The temperature in the office is not too low(usually caused by air-conditioning), nor too high, of course.
11. 既然是 requirements 句子里用相应的情态动词比较好吧
e.g. The temperature in the office *is* not too low(usually caused by air-conditioning), nor too high, of course.
12. 不必要的、口语化的成分
e.g. The temperature in the office is not too low*(usually caused by air-conditioning)*, nor too high, *of course*.
13. Requirements 中每一条之间句式不一致
e.g. 第一条是名词，第三条是陈述句，第四条是祈使句，第五条又是陈述句
14. 正式用语与非正式用语混用
e.g. functioning / deemed / buddies / 定语从句的 that 和 which
15. 整体来说行文风格诡异
e.g. Few buddies think that the USA always wants to destroy China.
16. 日期写法不符合英文习惯
e.g. 2013.04.19 - 2014.04.04: python/django programmer
17. 言之无物，「我是...」这种东西几句话说清楚了就够，重点要放在「我做了...」